One beautiful day....

Today was a rare beautiful day amongst all the wintery weather. Lovely sunny day...couldn't waste one precious moment..had to get everyone outside. We spent the day as a family...riding bikes at a local park, riding the carousel and eating snow cones.

Aahh..total bliss!

3 things I'm grateful for today:
1. Free time during the weekend.
2. Beautiful sunny weather.
3. A good day with the family.

Embracing

It's no secret that I've been really struggling with my current daily routine. I'm just plumb worn out. I'm not getting enough sleep, I'm struggling to get things done at the end of the day and I'm having a really hard time getting out of bed and wanting to start the new day. My hectic schedule with all three kids in two different participation schools is wearing on me, the workload to make it happen is killing me and I'm finding it harder and harder to want to do it anymore.  And to add to matters, there just has been a little too much unpleasant drama with one of my kids' classes which doesn't help me in wanting to be there.  It's also winter time, cold, rainy, dark earlier....I think I have seasonal affect disorder to boot.

I realize now that I need to make some changes so that I can find my center and find my happiness. I have been doing lots and lots of reading and it's become very clear that I need to let go of attachments that are making me miserable.  I'm a pretty conservative gal that doesn't really like changes.  Heck, I live in the same neighborhoods I was born into and I'm still in contact with most of my kindergarten class.  I stick and have a hard time breaking from decisions I've made.  So just realizing that changes can be made is giving me more hope and frankly it's pretty liberating.  I know whatever school decisions I make my kids will be fine in the long run and if it makes things easier, more managable and doable for me..well, that's a good thing.  I count too.  I'm also realizing I need to live more presently in the moment. Find joy in the present moment. I'm so used to planning for my future happiness and instead I need to focus on just this time, this moment and make every moment precious and meaningful.  Life is really racing by.  I'm really getting that. 

I'm in the midst of making some big changes...I'll let you know how they play out as soon as I can.

Update:
I made the plunge to change schools.  It was heart wrenching because I loved the school but it was becoming too difficult for me to be there anymore.  My daughter will start at this new school in the fall for her last year of preschool.  It's going to be a good change for all of us.  I'm seeing a little bit of sunshine at the end of this tunnel for this school year.  I might just make it through afterall.

3 things I'm grateful for:
1. Having the courage to seek change and follow through
2. The chance to start over
3. Saying goodbye and being okay with it

Morning Out

Our schedules are so busy that we don't often have free time in our mornings. This day we did and it was wonderful. After dropping off older brother at school we stopped for hot cocoa and muffins at a local cafe. After we got our fill of chocolate we headed off to a favorite local park.

Ah..such a perfect morning to start off our day.

3 things I'm grateful for:
1. Spending the morning with my youngest two.
2. Beautiful weather to be outdoors in.
3. A little downtime.

Reflections

Another year is here. The year 2010. When a new year arrives does it make you as hopeful as me? What is it about a new year? Is it the idea that we get to start again...almost anew even though really we are just putting one foot in front of the other and continuing onward on our path. For me, a new year feels like a small break in the chain, a chance to pause and think for a moment about my life, my path. This year is a big one for me. I'm turning 35 in just a few more months. The number itself gives me cause to pause, not panic necessarily but definately makes me stop and really think about my life, it's purpose and the path I'm on. The year 2009 was not the year that I was hoping it could be. When I stop to think about 2009 as a whole and how I felt in that year I would have to say the underlying emotions was definately sadness, tiredness, and a lot of self questioning on what is the purpose of life....what is the purpose of my life? It's a doozy of a question and so much easier to go back to sticking my head in the sand and just thinking about the to do lists of my day. But I'm afraid that if I don't start to really take seriously this question I'm going to wake up one day out of time and find that all I have accumulated is a lot of to do lists. Is this too serious a topic, I'm wondering now for a blog? Is it making anyone else feel too anxious? I think it shouldn't be anxiety filled but just a question to remind me to think of the whole big picture of my life too.