Embracing

It's no secret that I've been really struggling with my current daily routine. I'm just plumb worn out. I'm not getting enough sleep, I'm struggling to get things done at the end of the day and I'm having a really hard time getting out of bed and wanting to start the new day. My hectic schedule with all three kids in two different participation schools is wearing on me, the workload to make it happen is killing me and I'm finding it harder and harder to want to do it anymore.  And to add to matters, there just has been a little too much unpleasant drama with one of my kids' classes which doesn't help me in wanting to be there.  It's also winter time, cold, rainy, dark earlier....I think I have seasonal affect disorder to boot.

I realize now that I need to make some changes so that I can find my center and find my happiness. I have been doing lots and lots of reading and it's become very clear that I need to let go of attachments that are making me miserable.  I'm a pretty conservative gal that doesn't really like changes.  Heck, I live in the same neighborhoods I was born into and I'm still in contact with most of my kindergarten class.  I stick and have a hard time breaking from decisions I've made.  So just realizing that changes can be made is giving me more hope and frankly it's pretty liberating.  I know whatever school decisions I make my kids will be fine in the long run and if it makes things easier, more managable and doable for me..well, that's a good thing.  I count too.  I'm also realizing I need to live more presently in the moment. Find joy in the present moment. I'm so used to planning for my future happiness and instead I need to focus on just this time, this moment and make every moment precious and meaningful.  Life is really racing by.  I'm really getting that. 

I'm in the midst of making some big changes...I'll let you know how they play out as soon as I can.

Update:
I made the plunge to change schools.  It was heart wrenching because I loved the school but it was becoming too difficult for me to be there anymore.  My daughter will start at this new school in the fall for her last year of preschool.  It's going to be a good change for all of us.  I'm seeing a little bit of sunshine at the end of this tunnel for this school year.  I might just make it through afterall.

3 things I'm grateful for:
1. Having the courage to seek change and follow through
2. The chance to start over
3. Saying goodbye and being okay with it